To be honest, I now looked at every interaction with her like it was to be my last, which saddened me, but I didn’t give a shit any more, but really I did.  She was hot and cold.  And I just found it all a bit difficult to deal with seeing as I was right in the middle of it. Was I too close to the tree, to see the forest?

No, old muggins here was up the tree, in his tree house, wandering why he was getting wet.

So were things back to normal?  Normal?  I was in a long distance relationship with a girl in America, that I had not seen in nearly a year, that I rarely got to speak to.

It’s almost funny.

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So still seeing that girl then Tel?

My brain would often over think and over analyse everything.  It would go at a million miles an hour.  I wanted NO bitterness inside of me.  And my love and bitterness were now SO entwined that I could not tell the difference between the 2 any more. I hated her for making me love her.

Everything that Robin said made sense.  It explained everything.  Why would Robin have any need to lie to me?  She was 18.

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To readers.

It pains me to write the following section of this story, as I am wary portraying Kelli in a bad light.  But I guess I have to write this section because it did happen, and I am trying to be as open about this all as I can.  This is how I perceived things from my end of this story. Kelli has her side of the story and I am sure in time you will all get to read her side of it.  So I guess it is something that needs to be documented, as it kinda shows the entire journey.

Including the shit bits.

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As I write this now, nearly 10 months after it happened, it is a little difficult to recall what EXACTLY happened.  I guess I can only go with how I felt about things.  That tends to be the real me, rather than facts.

So yeah, Kelli had left again.

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Upon landing, I had to make my way back immediately, as I had a wedding to attend to. My friend Simon was marrying HIS AMERICAN fiancée Skyla. So upon landing, I had to make it all the way from Heathrow to Farnborough (via London) in 3 hours. It took forever, but I got back in time.  Showered, changed and drove to the wedding.

My phone was going wild with people wanting to know what had happened.   Everyone had expected me to come back and be married.  Maybe I should have.

Simon is a friend of mine that used to being singer/guitarist in the band Melaleuca.  Simon is someone that I had shared the Kelli saga with for 8 months. It was nice to have someone to talk to about it, that would understand the long distance, the lack of contact, the worrying, where as some of my other friends may have missed the point, or not understood the situation, as it really was.

I made it to the wedding in time to see them get married.  During the reception, I was nodding off and my eyes rolling in my head.  I realised I was absolutely cream crackered (knackered).    Whilst everyone was mingling, I gave my summary of my recent trip in full detail to Simon and Skyla, who in turn were both dead chuffed for me, but Simon already knew.  He had flown out to meet Skyla in Texas, after meeting her on myspace.  So completely got what I was feeling.  It was cool.

After that, I went to sleep in the car for 4 hours.

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I am posting this story/ongoing dialogue, because I wanted people to know (in great detail) about the story of Kelli and I, and how we have come to be.  Actually, that is not entirely true.  What actually happened is this.   I had SO many people asking me about her, and wanting to know details of how we met, the trip, and everything.  Rather than repeat the story a million times, I thought I would just write about it.  Then, if people want to know, they can just read it all here.

This story probably seems quite deep and emotional (I have been told), but I don’t come across like this at all.  But it is a lot easier to write about all this than to say it.

Oh and in case you are wandering, Kelli will have her version of everything up on here eventually.   I am aware that it probably seems unfair that she cannot say her side of the story, so I guess for now, this story is more for me, to help verbalise everything that I am feeling, but essentially it is OUR story.

Okay, so back to the story of us.  So I think what happened as I can recall, went pretty much like this.  Bare with me, it was a while ago.

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