Some times its easy to forget.

With all the stuff that has happened and felt over the past 3 and a bit years, it is easy to forget the little things.

Especially when I have been caught up in my emotions, and trying to give a little structure to something I can barely understand.

But I was just looking through my old Myspace account (anyone remember that drop in the ocean Myspace?) and looking through my myspace emails as I was looking for an address.

Myspace…….ha, back in the day!!

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So, I had a lot of time to think about everything.  I was being logical and thoughtful.  I was calm.  I had an awesome holiday.  I was not sad.  A little disappointed.   I was not angry or in a heighten state, but I was a lot clearer about where my head was.

The Greatest Love Story Ever Told?  Well, certainly MY greatest love story was over.   I hated it and I knew it.  It was time to end it.

It was over.

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Well……….this thing is sure dragging itself out right?

My mind flits on a daily basis about how I have given up/am giving up faith on her, and then seeing how she has treated me over the past year and a half, well the whole 3 years in fact.

When Kelli is around and in my life, even just in contact, like on the phone, she gives me a lot more focus, drive and reason for doing even the most mundane tasks.  Without her, I just feel a bit lost.  Like why am I doing anything at all.  I know I am doing it all for me, but beyond that……what are my goals?

In my heart, when I was in the states, and I was with her, it felt like…………..it felt perfect.  Like I had found the glove for my hand, the shoe for my foot.  Everything all made sense at that point.  I knew I was to be with her.

Am I still kidding myself?  I mean really?

*seriously, leave comments………….I am open to opinions, answers and objections.*

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